It Was Good: On Identity

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*Two photos of some drawings I did based on my identity. The first I drew when I was at the beginning of High School and the second I drew at the end of High School. An example of fluctuation and the complexity of identity.

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The book, It Was Good, in its concluding chapter is on the topic of identity. The author of the chapter, Theodore Prescott, mainly discusses the connection between artist and identity, making a point that in our culture, "art somehow reveals the artist" and that the identity of the artist is the most critical component of their art practice (307). He goes into the concept of identity, identity within subcultures, the identity of the artist and the Christian artist, the artistic process, the problem of Christian expression, and identity with Christ all to prove the point that "our lives as artists, as parents, as followers of Christ have to be lived out for our identities to have any meaning. And our concepts about identity are always in dialogue with our moment-by-moment experiences" (330).

Identity is a strange concept but something we as individuals cling to. It is also a difficult concept for us to think about because of our clouded judgement. We have to have an identity and people search their whole lives trying to figure out who they are. Some people even go to extreme measures to find defining facts about themselves. The people around us even create identities for us which may or may not be the truth. I think our society has this idea that we are only supposed to have one identity. Yet, identity covers such a wide range about ourselves. It seems impossible with everything that occurs during a life time that humans can only have one identity. The book states that identity is relationally conditioned but I think you can take it a step further and say, identity is worldly conditioned. I truly think that identity is ever changing and goes through seasons just like the weather.

For example, what happens if we lose what we call our identity?

I was listening to a podcast on TED Radio Hour about this woman who was a very well-known cross-country skier in Australia, Janine Shepard. She was always defined, and defined herself, as an athlete. Her identity was placed in her body and the capabilities of it. One day while she was skiing, at the age of 24, she got in a horrific accident on the mountain and was hit by a mountain grooming machine. She became paralyzed and could not walk anymore. Her identity was lost in an instance and she was forced to leave a part of herself behind and find a new part of herself. She says “the way I communicate with the world is no longer through my body, but with my heart and I am a much better person for it” (). She became a different version of herself and someone different than she had ever planned. In the podcast, she said…

“It’s in the letting go that we really experience who we can be”

-Janine Shepard

I find that to be quite a profound, yet simple statement. It’s almost a call to action. Letting go is probably the most difficult thing for me to do but it seems to be a necessity for moving forward in life. I get so attached to the things that I have and am doing right now that I cling to them, begging for safety in stability. I have a horrible time with change, yet this time in my life is calling for and creating the most change. The anxiety in not knowing what to expect gets to be unbearable at times. I have created all of these expectations of who I should be and what I should be doing but what if I lost it all? What if I had to let go in order to find my true identity.

I will say, identity is a topic that has been at the forefront of my thoughts recently. With graduation coming up in a week in a half, I will no longer be a college student or a student at all. This is a huge identity change, at least I feel it is for myself. My whole life I have been in school, attending classes, doing homework, and now who am I? What do I even like to do for hobbies? I don’t know! It is insane how quickly this life change has snuck up on me but I guess that is my point…

Life sneaks up on us, takes us for a wild and crazy ride where we have no idea what is coming next and our identity changes along the way, adapting to each twist and turn. Sure, there are key aspects about ourselves that we will find stick with us for our entire lives, but even those fluctuate in their individual forms. Understanding that letting go will lead us to who we are is a huge shift in thought and something that is not comfortable. But it can lead us to beautiful, amazing things.

I say this mostly as a reminder to myself; let’s just enjoy the ride and experience who we are meant to be in the moments we have.